Coming of the Storm
by xxAwesomeLucyxx
Summary: What happens when Sanzo meets an important person from his past he thought was dead? Ever wondered why the priest hates the rain? All will be revealed. Bad summary. Rated for curse words/fluff. Chapter 9 replaced with real chapter 9. Slight OOC SanzoxOC
1. The Reunion

My old name. Something that I left behind me long ago, in a time and place I would rather be. My new name. Something that I got out of a tragedy that I would rather forget. But of course, the gods love to watch my suffering from above, so I must discard my old self for the new. Calling it a name might as well just be calling it a different side of me.

Every once in a while, however, I find myself thinking back on my old name, and what it represents. My old name is the former me, unstained by the blood of humans and youkai alike. The former me, a child who lived with his master, a Sanzo priest. My old name…

"Kouryuu!" A voice yelled. I turned around in the street, looking for the speaker.

"Sanzo, are you okay?" Hakkai asked like the mother hen he was. I gave a grunt in response and shook it off. _Stop being so paranoid. You weren't the only Kouryuu in the world._ I reasoned, and continued onward. I continued to curse the clogged streets for making it impossible for Hakuryuu to transform into a jeep.

"Kouryuu!" I heard again. This time, I stopped Hakkai.

"What is…" He began, but I cut him off.

"Did you hear that?" I asked, almost having to yell over the crowd of people.

"Hear what, Sanzo?" Goku interrupted, coming up behind me.

"Forget it. It is none of your business, monkey."

Of course, Goku started to protest, and I didn't hear the voice again. Gojyo came forward, and tried to mess with me. "Finally off the deep end, you stupid monk? I wouldn't be surprised…" Both annoying youkai got a sound whack in the head with my paper fan.

"OW! What was that for Sanzo?" They started to complain, but when I put my hand to my gun, they both instantly silenced. Hakkai just chuckled and continued forward through the crowd towards the fifth inn we were going to check for available rooms, Hakuryuu blindingly white on his shoulders.

"Excuse me Miss. We would like to book a room for 4 for the night. Do you have one, by any chance?" Hakkai asked the woman at the front desk politely. The smile she put on her face informed me right away of her answer.

"I'm sorry, we're all full. There is a huge group of youkai that is picking off the people in the small villages on the outskirts of town. So all of the people remaining flocked into town for safety." She said, equally as kind.

"That's a damn shame. I would have loved to stay here with you tonight, beautiful." Gojyo purred from behind her, just about scaring her to death. I hit him with the fan again, and was rewarded with a hard glare.

Just when he was about to scream at me, Hakkai suggested quickly, "Why don't we all go for dinner. It is obvious we won't be able to find an inn any time soon. We'll just stop for supplies and keep driving." His bad news of another night on the road was blocked out by Goku's yells of joy at the news of food.

We headed outside again into the massive throng of people. The woman was nice enough to give us directions to a small restaurant that was off the main road. As we headed there, I heard that dreaded former name of mine yelled again. I quickened our pace through a back alley, trying to get away from the voices in my head.

Right as we turned the corner, I ran into a woman running full tilt down the street. "Watch where you're going, damn it!" I yelled, brushing off my robes. "You almost knocked me over."

She was already bowing, long black hair falling down around her. "Sorry. I'm in a hurry to catch up with someone…" When she looked up, brilliant, cat-yellow eyes open wide in shock.

"Kouryuu?" She asked, her eyes locking onto mine, searching for the answer. When she said that name, I knew exactly who it was.

"Lei?"

The moment I said that, the girl flew at me and yanked me into a crushing hug. Then she pulled back, still holding me by the shoulders, appraising me. "I knew it was you the moment I saw you. I mean, who else in this world has golden hair and purple eyes?"

I heard a collective gasp from behind me. Turning around, I saw Hakkai, Goku and Gojyo with their jaws hitting the floor. All three looked at us like we had grown a couple extra limbs. Lei blushed, immediately releasing her grip on me. "Sorry. I got a little carried away."

I brushed off my shoulders, trying to maintain my dignity. Hakkai snapped out of it first. "I believe we haven't met. I'm Cho Hakkai. It is a pleasure to meet you." She stepped forward and shook his hand, a smile spreading across both of their features.

"I'm Liu Lei." She said happily "Pleasure's all mine."

Goku walked up to her, a look of stupidity and awe on his monkey like features. "Who is Kouryuu? That is Sanzo."

Lei pondered for a minute and said, "Oh, yeah. Kouryuu got a Buddhist name when he became Sanzo. I forgot." She paused for another moment before leaning down and picking up Goku in a hug. "You are sooooo cute! Like a little monkey." Goku blushed, not even protesting her calling him that.

When she set him down, Gojyo walked up, his charm on full blast. "I'm Sha Gojyo. How did a beauty like you come to know that stupid selfish monk?"

She dodged his perverted arm, and answered, "I don't kiss and tell." Gojyo just about fell over and died, choking on his cigarette. "Just kidding. I knew him when we were kids." Lei stuck her tongue out at him and pulled down one of her eyes. "And I'm not an easy woman, so don't even try." Hakkai chuckled and Goku was still red from her affection.

Gojyo laughed. "I know why you're named thunder*. You've got a pretty big bark. I like that." He received a smack in the back of the head with a paper fan. "OUCH! Sanzo, what was that for?" Surprisingly, Lei was the one with the fan in her hand.

"And I'll show you why I'm Liu** Lei" She said, and started beating on him with the fan. All the while, she talked to the rest of us as if everything were normal. "So, what brings you to this crappy town?"

Hakkai had to raise his voice over the racket the two were creating. "We were just passing through town on our way west. But there aren't any inns that are still open."

"Get back here you little bastard. I'm not finished yet. " Lei yelled. Then her attention turned back to us. "Well you'll be happy to know that I have a little onsen*** of my own. And we have four rooms open. You can stay at my place. Okay. I think I punished you enough."

Gojyo rubbed his aching head. "Jesus, Sanzo. Now I know where the hell you get it from. I'm glad she doesn't have a gun." I just huffed in response.

My childhood companion grabbed Goku's hand and started pulling him down the alleyway. "What would you like for dinner, otouto****? I can make whatever you want. Have to keep growing boys healthy and strong, now don't we?" He had started to protest being treated like a kid, but changed his mind. The stupid monkey just rambled on and on about food.

Lei was already halfway down the road before she turned around and yelled. "Well what are you guys waiting for? Let's go." The three of us started forward, looking forward to a nice dip in a hot spring, a good meal, and a warm bed.

*Lei=Thunder **Liu=Kill ***Onsen=Hot spring ****Otouto=Little Brother


	2. Lei's Onsen

**Authors Notes: Before you yell at me for my choices of honorifics, I must have my say. I know that this story is set in China (Or what it is perceived as China), and I know that I used Japanese honorifics. But most of the people, if not all, who read this story will know the Japanese honorifics, not the Chinese. So I'm just going to stick with what I know.**

As we walked across town towards Lei's inn, I watched her with curiosity. I hadn't seen her in ten years, but she was still the girl I had known. Her hair was the black of angry thunder clouds, and fell to just below her shoulder blades in waves. Eyes the color of lightning brightened her pale face. She was tall and of an average build, not obviously strong or weak. But her movements were graceful and languid. Lei's voice was rather low and husky, and her laughter sounded like the crackling of thunder. She wore a simple dark blue yukata with a grey obi. But none of that was what was making me look at her so intently. There was something off about her. Something was missing.

I was snapped out of my reverie by Goku's annoying voice, "How much farther is it until we get there onee-chan*? We've been walking for half an hour." He and Lei were still holding hands, and he had even started calling her sister. With that annoying thought, I took in my surroundings. We were definitely not in the main part of town anymore. It wasn't run down or ruined, just empty. No one was in sight.

Lei seemed to be unfazed by the question. She just asked, "You guys must have heard about the recent youkai attacks in the outskirts of town. Welcome to the outskirts of town." That is when I realized what had been missing.

Gojyo seemed a little worried at that. "Why are you still here? It is dangerous if there are youkai affected by the minus wave out here. You could be hurt."

She brushed off his concern. "If you mean youkai affected by the madness, then you have nothing to worry about. I'm perfectly capable of protecting you if they come around, kappa-kun**." Lei smirked at his indignant manner. With his pride hurt, and finding no intellectual come back, Gojyo backed off.

"Onee-chan," Goku said, tugging on her hand, "I'm not trying to be mean, but how can a human woman defend herself against a whole bunch of youkai?" This time, I responded for her.

"Lei's a youkai, dumb ass."

"Oh. That explains it. However, Miss Lei, how aren't you…" Hakkai began, but was cut off when she reached up and touched the three cuffs on his ear.

"You and otouto^ aren't the only ones with power limiters, Hakkai-san." She put her hand up to brush back a stray strand of hair, allowing her sleeve to slip down. On her wrist was a bracelet made of red wooden prayer beads. At the site of them, I almost choked. _She kept those all this time?_

Lei continued, oblivious to my reaction. "And I know that Gojyo is a half youkai as well. Doesn't take a genius to figure it out. Okay, here we go. My home sweet home." She gestured towards a gated wall. When we walked in, I saw a simple 2 story building surrounded by grass and plum trees that had almost ripe fruit. It wasn't overly ornate, but it had a comfortable feel to it. A sign at the front gate said The Zhen Li Dian***.

We were ushered through the modestly furnished main room and up a pair of stairs. There she showed us to our rooms. "You each take one of the rooms for yourselves. Just don't go near the one at the end of the hall; it is mine. I'll call you down soon for dinner." Hakkai offered to help, but our hostess refused it and left us to our own devices.

I chose a room at the entrance to the stairs on the left side of the hall. It had a window facing the west. The view was nice. There were also some plum trees, but these were much younger than the ones in the front; they were not yet old enough to bear fruit.

I set out my things and put the scripture on the stand by the bed, slipping the upper part of my robes down. A newspaper had been left on the small table in the middle of the room. Pulling up one of the two chairs and taking out my glasses, I began to read. Just when I was thinking that I was thirsty, there was a knock on the door.

"Enter." I murmured, and Goku waltzed in with a couple cups of tea.

He was grinning to ear as he put a red mug down on the table. "Onee-chan told me to bring this to you. She said that you would probably be too lazy to come and get something if you were thirsty." I just grumbled incoherently and took a sip of the steaming tea.

Goku continued excitedly. "And guess what. Lei-chan is making sukiyaki for dinner. And she's even making dango for dessert. She says that you used to love dango, but only the kind with the sesame seeds. Then she said for lunch tomorrow, she'll make meat buns and almond cake. Isn't that great, Sanzo? Onee-chan is so nice. She calls me a monkey, but that's okay. She calls Gojyo kappa-kun. Isn't that funny, Sanzo? Sanzo? Sanzo?"

I couldn't take his blabbering anymore. "Damn it, Goku! Shut the hell up. And stop calling her that. She isn't your older sister. God, you're annoying." The stupid monkey looked distraught.

"But, she called me otouto first. And she said she doesn't mind." He mumbled, scuffing his feet on the floor.

"Fine. I don't care. Just go away."

For a moment, it looked like he couldn't decide whether to smile or cry. But with a good pounding on the head with the fan, he shut up and left, taking the other 2 cups of tea with him.

_It is hard to think that she remembered the dango thing. But I can't believe she kept that bracelet all this time. I wonder how she got all this way west, and how she got this inn. I mean, she is only 23, like me. There so many things I want to ask her. Never thought I was going get them answered. I thought she was dead._

There was a knock. "If it is you again, Goku, I'll shoot your head off. I already told you to go away."

The door opened and yellow eyes were looking back at me. But they didn't belong to the monkey. "I'm glad I'm not Goku then." A slight crackly chuckle came from Lei, whose hair was now up in chopsticks. "Dinner is ready. Goku said I should probably get you. I can see why."

I stood and readjusted my robes and the Maten scripture was placed back on my shoulders. She was already checking the other rooms, bringing Hakkai and Gojyo down.

In the kitchen, there was a huge pot of sukiyaki filled with tons of beef, tofu, shirataki noodles, and vegetables. There were place settings for six. I looked around to see who the sixth person would be, when Hakuryuu said on top of a stack of books on a chair.

"Dig in guys. Wait. Is Hakuryuu a girl or a guy?" Lei asked, motioning for us to sit down at the circular table. I sat on her right, Goku on her left. Hakkai was by me, with the dragon beside him. Gojyo was between the monkey and Hakkai's pet.

"Hakuryuu is a male. This smells delicious, Miss Lei. I can't believe you got this entire meal cooked in less than an hour." Hakkai said appreciatively. Goku tried to mumble agreement, but his mouth was already stuffed to the max.

Lei waved off the comment. "It is nothing. Before the rest of the staff left in fear of the youkai, they felt obligated to restock the kitchen. All I had to do was prepare it. And I'd rather you not call me Miss Lei, Hakkai-san. It makes me feel old. Lei is quite fine."

Hakkai smiled sweetly. "Then I must insist you just call me Hakkai."

"How does a girl like you not have every man in town flocking to her inn despite the youkai threat?" The red head smirked as Lei's attention turned to him.

"It seems not many men, youkai and human alike, seem to like the way I can take care of myself. I've taught everyone here that I'm perfectly capable of doing what I so choose." Goyjo shivered slightly, remembering how he had been 'taught' earlier that same day.

The conversation was kept light and happy. Well, as light as it can be when I'm around, I suppose. Hakkai and Lei talked about the best way to prepare sukiyaki. Gojyo and Goku fought over the meat to the point that our hostess stood and put more in the pot. I stayed relatively silent; answering what my favorite ingredient was or hitting the two idiots.

Then Goku said something that I rarely heard at all. "Whoa! I'm stuffed." He patted his belly with content. Lei laughed and got to her feet. "If you'll excuse me, I'll go prepare everything for your bath."

Gojyo stared at her ass as she left, making me want to kill him for some reason. Finding no logical explanation for it, I restrained myself. The freaking kappa seemed to sense my anger. "Mmm, I want a piece of that. I still don't get how a beautiful girl like that even remembers your name, Sanzo."

Now finding grounds, I started to pull out my banishing gun, but a hand on my arm stopped me. Green eyes looked at me with concern. "Please refrain from using out your weapon, Sanzo. Lei is kind enough to let us stay here, and bullet holes aren't a good show of gratitude." I took his hand from my sleeve and stood.

"Tell that to the kappa. It is his fault for pissing me off. And if she is anything like she used to be, Lei will kill him long before I do." I walked off to the room to grab my things for washing. By the time I came back down, Hakkai was already cleaning up after dinner. Goku even helped out by drying the dishes. Gojyo put them away.

Lei walked back into the kitchen a few minutes later, wiping sweat from her brow. Once again, I saw the wooden prayer bead bracelet dangling on her wrist. Her sleeves were pulled back with a sageo****, and long gray hair was still up with chopsticks. She practically had a heart attack when she saw all of the dishes were cleaned.

"You didn't have to do that. I could have cleaned up myself. You are friends of Kouryuu, which makes you friends of mine." She protested, shooing the three helpers away from the kitchen. All three just shrugged, since they had already finished.

"Friends don't let friends do all the work." Hakkai countered.

"Especially if those friends are as gorgeous as you." Gojyo winked.

"Onee-chan is really nice, so I wanted to help too!" Goku piped in.

"Okay, okay. I give. Thanks for helping out." Lei conceded. "The bath is ready. Follow me." She grabbed Goku's hand with her left. He didn't even protest.

Gojyo commented on it. "Why do you keep holding his hand, Hun? There is a lot more handsome stuff around here."

"Really? Oh, you're right." She reached out towards him. His eyes shone for just a moment before his hopes were crushed. Hakuryuu had landed on her outstretched arm. Placing him on her shoulder, she pet him with her right hand. "This little guy is absolutely gorgeous."

Said little guy 'kyuu'ed, glad for the attention. I could help but smile at her teasing, but I covered it with my hand. Hakkai laughed wholeheartedly, trying to console the downtrodden Gojyo. "Cold hearted woman. I'll never win." He garbled.

"Not that I mind, onee-chan, but why do you hold my hand?" Goku asked innocently, eyes glowing. Though I would never admit it, I wanted to know as well.

She got serious for a moment. "I never had anyone to hold my hand. Life might have turned out different if I had, although I can't complain because I had Kouryuu." Lei leaned down and gave him a quick peck on the cheek, causing him to turn a bright red. "And 'cause you are the cutest otouto I've ever had, of course!"

With that, she shoved us past the noren*****and into the changing area of the males side of the onsen. "Just yell if you need me. Hakuryuu will keep me company."

All three of my traveling companions looked at me. Gojyo's red eyes seemed to burn with jealousy and fury. Goku was as naïve as ever, his eyes glazed over with stupidity and embarrassment. Hakkai's gaze was curious and intense. I could tell that he wasn't going to let the comment slide without poking and prodding for more information.

Ignoring them, since they said nothing, I undressed and put my clothes into one of the baskets. With a towel wrapped around my waist, I made my way out into the washroom. They followed suit. We scrubbed ourselves down in relative silence.

"I wish I could be the one keeping her company, not that damn dragon. What I would do for mixed bathing." The kappa mused as we entered the roten-buro. ****** I could blame my blush on the steam rising from the water.

It really was a very nice hot spring. Oil lanterns were up to bathe the area with a soft glow, fending off the darkness of the night. There were 3 different pools, each lined with stones that had been polished and smoothed. The first pool steamed very slightly, and you could see the bottom. The second looked like someone had slipped milk into the water. The steam rising from it was relatively thick. It was also the largest of the three pools. The last pool was a murky yellow-brown, showing that it had a high content of minerals. Only the bravest of people went into those; it was so hot you could see bubbles.

The view was spectacular. There were a few small plum trees scattered around the area. But that wasn't what caught my eye. Behind the fence on a slightly raise hill, there was a giant plum tree. It's red and pink petals swished softly in an imaginary breeze. The moon was above it, casting a soft glow onto the area. By the way it was positioned, I knew that the view from the girl's bath was just as excellent.

I went into the hottest bath, gingerly setting myself in. It was so scorching, I almost yelped, but kept my poker face on. Hakkai tested the water with his foot, and decided it was to his liking. The heat didn't seem to bother him at all. _Damn youkai._

Goku and Gojyo chose the second bath. Of course, they couldn't stay quiet for long. "Hey! Get off of me you stupid monkey!"

"You were the one who dunked me under the water before I was ready."

"Oh, boo hoo. Go complain to someone who cares."

"Maybe I will. ONEE- mhmhmhmhmhmmmhmhmh!"

"I would appreciate it if you kept your voices down. Lei doesn't need you guys squabbling like a bunch of kids." Said the ever present voice of reason, leaning over to the other pool and clamping his hand over the monkey's mouth.

"I don't mind, really. It is like you have your own traveling comedy routine." Lei's voice rang out. We all turned in the direction it had come from, behind the fence.

"So you wanted to take a bath too, huh. Why don't you join us in here? We don't mind. If not, I'll join you over there." Gojyo asked huskily, making slapping the water gently.

There was a chuckle. "No thanks. I'm just checking on the trees. One was hit by lightning a couple of weeks ago. I've had to check on it every day to make sure it isn't dying. I'm surprised it didn't burn to a crisp."

Gojyo was still too stubborn to give up. "Oh, come on. The water is nice and warm. You should relax a bit. I can definitely help you with that. Women say I have magic fingers. They reach all the right places."

I snorted. I couldn't help it. Gojyo's perverted antics just made we want to laugh hysterically. There was not a chance in hell that he could snag her, but he wouldn't let it go.

"No matter how tempting, I think I'll pass. I can feel a storm coming, and it is a big one. This whole place needs to be weather proofed before… I'd say 3 am." Lei said casually, and I heard her voice get closer. "It won't take too much longer, but I want to do it before I take a bath. Once your done, I'll check on your side. And before your offer, I really don't need any assistance."

Then she was walking away, muttering something about checking the front gate.

"What was she talking about, Sanzo?" Hakkai asked, turning towards me.

I thought about it for a moment before it clicked. "Lei's demonic power is linked with the weather. But I don't remember her ever being able to pinpoint a storm." I didn't mention her combat abilities with her power. The tree probably wasn't struck by natural lightning.

"Ah," my friend nodded in understanding. "By the way it sounds, as she matured, her power must have developed. You haven't seen her in ten years, so she could easily have harnessed it completely by now. But if there is a huge storm, Hakuryuu won't be able to drive. What are we going to do?"

I sighed, partly out of defeat, partly out of happiness. "We'll just have to stay here to ride it out. I want to get back on the road as soon as possible; we don't have time to lose."

The moment it left my mouth, I knew I shouldn't have said the last sentence. "So, you aren't glad that you met Lei again? No, that isn't right." Hakkai began. I tried to zone him out as best I could by looking at the giant plum tree. Just behind it, I saw a thin stream of blackness that must have been the tempest. My mood soured.

"You are the happiest and most relaxed I've seen you in ages. You haven't had a single cigarette since we met her." I hadn't even realized it, but I hadn't felt the need to smoke all day. Of course, until Hakkai just mentioned it. As I went to stand, he added his final comment on the issue. At least for the moment.

"It might be good for you to talk. You never say anything to us. Maybe it will be easier with someone that is from your past. The two of you should catch up." I huffed at his stupidity.

"I don't need to talk about anything with anyone. I'm going for a smoke." Re-wrapping the towel around my lower half, I went back through the bathing area and into the changing room. There, I grabbed a yukata that was on a rack and some geta. Slipping those on, I silently made my way through a hallway past the kitchen. Lei was there, her back towards me, preparing the dango and tea. Since it seemed she didn't notice my presence, I continued on to the front door and stepped outside.

Though the view wasn't as breath taking as from the roten-buro, the sky overhead wasn't obstructed by steam. The moon and the stars were out in all of their glory. The surrounding walls weren't a prison. They were a shield protecting this small haven from the sadness of the outside world. Sort of like the walls around the Kinzan temple. _Those walls didn't last long against a horde of demons, did they?_

After I finished 3 cigarettes (2 extra to make up for the ones I didn't smoke earlier), I decided to head back to the mineral pools. I snuck back in just as quietly as before, passing everyone enjoying tea and dango in the sitting area. And again, I wasn't noticed. Once back inside the steamy onsen, I was able to relax. I just sat there, only my head above the water, and watched the swaying plum trees. _I know why she named this place the Zhen Li Dian. _Slowly, I drifted off into sleep.

*Onee-chan=Sister

** Kappa-kun= Water sprite in an endeared form

^ Otouto= Little brother

***Zhen Li Dian=Red Plum Inn

****Sageo=Strings that hold the sleeves back of a kimono. Look up a picture of it and I'm sure you've seen one.

*****Noren=Curtains in a bathing house or hot spring that indicate which side is for which sex.

******Roten-buro= the name for area containing at hot spring.

And if you forgot, an onsen is another name for a hot spring in general. Sometimes it is used to refer to an inn that has a hot spring and others for the actual pool of water on its own.

Sorry for using the ^ symbol for otouto. I had finally gotten all the stars right when I went through and found that I hadn't used it.

Any others words I may have used are either unimportant or most people should know if they watch anime. And yes, I know that if you enjoy Saiyuki, you would know what a kappa is. I never knew how you could figure out Gojyo is a water sprite. It may be in the manga, which I didn't read.


	3. New Friends

I was thoroughly enjoying the company of the other members of the Sanzo-ikkou*. _It is nice to have some company who don't know about my past. Well, at least the past I'm not too fond of. _I thought. To me, Goku was like a little brother I never had, whom I could baby as much as I saw fit. The monkey seemed to need it. Hakkai was intelligent and polite; the perfect person to hold a conversation with. And I have to admit, messing with Gojyo was pretty damn funny.

"So, is Kouryuu still in the bath?" I asked the green-eyed youkai.

He shook his head. "No, he left before we did for a cigarette and didn't come back."

That surprised me. "I didn't know he smoked. Oh, well he wouldn't have when we knew each other, now would he?" I laughed, but felt a little concerned. Finding Kouryuu in the middle of a crowd was just pure luck. I didn't expect him to be the same boy I had known. He was a man now. A full grown, respected, strong Sanzo priest. Hopefully, any changes that happened to him were for the better. The things that happened to me sure as hell weren't.

Goku piped up. "Do you want me to go and find him, onee-chan? You said he liked sesame dango. He wouldn't want to miss it." I shook my head.

"Nah, he's probably in his room. I'll just bring it up to him. Even when we were kids, he liked to brood like this on his own. Guess some people never change."

I grabbed a plate of dango and poured a fresh cup of tea. "I'll be right back."

Quietly, I walked up the stairs and knocked on his door. "Kouryuu?" When there was no response, I just thought that he had fallen asleep. _Oh well. Can't expect to get him to talk much anyway. I wanted to see how he had really been since he left._

Coming back downstairs, I set down the items I'd brought with me.

"Is the stupid monk asleep or something?" Gojyo asked.

"Yeah. Didn't answer his door."

"That is a damn shame. Later tonight, why don't you try knocking on my door? I promise I'll be there in a flash." He purred, leaning provocatively on the counter.

I couldn't help myself. "Might just take you up on that offer, kappa-kun." His mouth dropped to the floor, totally caught off guard by the unexpected answer. Before I started laughing hysterically and ruined the ruse, I turned around and walked towards the entrance to the baths. Purposely, I swung my hips with each step. Right as I turned the corner, I winked at him suggestively. "I'll hold you to it."

Then I walked off, both hands clamping my mouth shut. I only let it out once I got to the men's changing area. After letting it all out, I wiped a tear from my eye and headed towards the roten-buro. The trees on that side still needed to be tethered down, and the doors needed to be checked for a tight water seal.

*Sanzo-ikkou= Sanzo party/group.


	4. First Memories

I was dreaming peacefully about my first memory of Lei. It was at the Kinzan temple, the only place I could ever claim as my home. It was after our lessons on Buddhist prayers. Most of the students in the class were 10 years old, but since we were orphans under the care of Buddhist monks, we were expected to learn.

Of course, that age is around the time that kids recognize the differences between them and others. I was the special favorite of Komyo Sanzo; a freak who somehow garnered his attention. One boy was especially jealous of our relationship. His name was Hiei. He was larger than the rest of us, and quite stupid to boot. It irked him that he, at eleven years of age, was stupider than me, who was nine and the youngest in the class.

But since he was bigger, all of the other kids took his side for fear of getting beaten up themselves. And the fact that I wasn't the nicest person to them didn't help me either. After an extremely embarrassing class on his part, I was backed up into a corner by the others.

"Hey Goldilocks! Any one ever tell you that you look like a girl?" Hiei asked mockingly, stepping closer.

"You have. Several times. It gets really annoying." My tongue was sharp for my age.

Of course, he was quite insulted. "What are you going to do about it, River Rat? Nothing, that's what." The kids tightened the circle around me, backing into the corner even more.

It was true though. There was nothing I could do. He was older, bigger, and had started his martial arts training. I was scrawny and didn't know how to defend myself. So I just gritted my teeth and prepared for the inevitable beating.

I closed my eyes, and heard his fist pull back, preparing to strike.

"Hey! What do you think you are doing, you big Meany?" An unfamiliar voice yelled. I opened my eyes to see the other kids move out of the way for a small girl.

She was around my age, with storm cloud black hair and big yellow eyes. But what caught my attention wasn't those features. It was the pointy ears poking out from under the short locks and jagged purple lightning tattoos on her cheeks.

"What is a youkai girl doing here on holy ground?" One kid asked, his voice disgusted.

"What are human boys doing beating up a kid on holy ground?" She retorted, yellow eyes blazing.

"Shut up, girly. This has nothing to do with you. If you don't, I'll deal with you after I finish up here with Goldilocks." Hiei said, and turned back to me, fist raised. Once again I shut my eyes like a coward.

There was a slam and a thud, but I felt no pain. I gasped, opening my eyes to see the girl hovering over Hiei, one fist clenched, the other around his throat. The older boy was quivering under her, both his eyes already black and his nose bleeding profusely.

"Stand up, you stupid human." She ordered, hand still around his throat as he wobbled to his feet.

"Now apologize."

Hiei got back an ounce of his courage. "Why should I? Pretty boy here thinks he is so cool, and acts so high and mighty. I thought it would be good to teach him some manners."

The youkai girl sank her nails into his neck, and he gulped. "See, that is where you went wrong. You thought. Someone as stupid and ugly as you doesn't have the right. Now apologize."

He became frenzied, his eyes wide in terror. "I'm sorry, Goldilocks."

She slapped him across the face. "What kind of apology is that?"

"I'm really sorry, Kouryuu." Hiei tried again. He got another slap, one that made his eyes water.

"You are going to repeat after me, you stupid human. 'I'm really and truly sorry for being such a fool.' " She started out, and it was repeated. The youkai girl continued.

"And I know that you are smarter, nicer, and a better person than I will ever be. And I think your hair is very handsome. Much better than my muddy brown hair. I'll never insult you or bully you again."

This was all repeated by the older boy. When she was satisfied, she let her hand drop and pushed him away. All the kids stood there, frozen by the glare that she gave them.

She turned around and planted a smile on her face, and extended her hand out towards me, helping me to stand up. "Hi, my name is…"

"Hey girly!" Hiei interrupted, causing her to turn around with a hard glare.

"What do you…ACK!" She yelled as a fistful of dirt and rocks was thrown in her eyes. Her hands flung to her face, desperately trying to rub it out so she could see.

The bastard punched her in the stomach, knocking the wind out of her. She curled over on herself on the floor, gasping for breath. "No one messes with me and gets away with it, not even a youkai." He kicked her a couple of times in the ribs and head before a sudden rage filled me.

I slammed into him, knocking him into the dirt full force. I started pounding on him with my fists, flailing around crazily. After a couple of seconds, Hiei kicked me off him. I hit the earth hard, and blood oozed out of my hands and knees from the impact.

I wiped the red liquid on my robes and stood in front of the girl who had only just caught her breath. She had stood up again, but dirt was still obscuring her sight. On top of that, her forehead was bleeding heavily from a kick she received. She was as good as blind.

"You are such a coward! That was a dirty trick." The girl yelled, one hand on my shoulder to steady herself, the other swiping futilely at the blood and filth obstructing her vision. "Only someone who knows he can't win does something like that." Hiei started to advance on us, taunting us.

"Yeah, sure, little girl. At least the River Rat has a friend now. Goldilocks and the Ugly Youkai Girl. You can play dress up and have tea parties. But not until after I beat you till your black and blue."_ Wow. The Ugly Youkai Girl. Couldn't he have come up with something better than that?_ I thought.

"Is that right, Hiei? Even though I agree that my Kouryuu is very cute, I can't let you do that." A familiar voice said from behind us. The girl snapped around like a whip, trying to find the source of the voice, ready to defend herself.

All of the kids stood stock still, as if they didn't move, they wouldn't be seen. Hiei's face dropped from his cocky grin to a shocked frown. Master's smile also fell, a look of disappointment replacing it. "It pains me to know that children can be so hateful and cruel to each other. However, what is worse is that all of you are letting one take advantage of another out of fear. It is a disgrace. Now go, before you sadden me more."

Hiei scrambled away frantically as the other kids turned red faced with shame. Once we were alone, Master reached down to touch the youkai girl's arms that were still raised for defense. She knocked it away, swinging wildly, her face contorted in fear and anger. "Stay away from me, you big bully!"

She fell over in her panic, pushing herself up into the corner, now desperately trying to clear her vision. Master's voice was calm and quiet as he spoke to her as he would a frightened animal. "It is okay now, little Miss. The big bully is gone. I'm a friend of Kouryuu. Here, use this." He past her a handkerchief. Quickly, the girl wiped her face.

When she could finally see, she hesitantly handed it back to Master. "Thank you, mister." She said meekly, shuffling her feet. The girl had almost taken a schizophrenic turn from the youkai who had given a kid twice her size two black eyes and a broken nose.

"You are very welcome Miss." He responded with a warm smile. With that, she finally calmed down completely and smiled back with a big, toothy grin. She tried to stand, but winced and fell over. Master and I quickly bent down over her. I quickly pulled back and turned around, hiding the look of concern that must have showed on my features.

Master tsked and picked her up. "Oh dear Miss. Let me help you." He carried her off to the main building before she could protest. When we got there, he set her down on the porch outside his room.

"What is your name Miss? My name is Komyo Sanzo. And this is my adorable little Kouryuu." He said, patting my head. I just huffed in embarrassment.

"Liu Lei." She responded, taking another handkerchief he procured for her for her still bleeding face.

"It is very nice to meet you, Lei-chan. Thank you for helping Kouryuu. It was very kind of you."

"I don't like bullies. Can I go now? My mom and dad probably waiting for me." Lei said bluntly. Master smiled.

"I'll go see where they are. You two just stay here."

I did as I was told and sat down beside the girl. Before I could go and say thank you, the girl hit me on the head.

"Hey, what was that for?" I demanded, rubbing the spot with bloody hands.

"For being stupid. If I hadn't been there, you would have been beaten up. And now I'm gonna have to tell my parents I got into another fight." She complained, hissing as she touched one of her own wounds.

"Well excuse me. I didn't ask for help. You just rushed in and got yourself beat up. It is not my fault." I retorted, giving her a hard glare. Surprisingly, she didn't yell, or cry, or smack me again, like I had expected. Lei just stood up and started to walk the way Master had left.

"I thought I was going to make a friend, but I guess not." Was all she said as she turned the corner. I sat there, sort of in shock. _Me, be someone's friend? Whom is she kidding?_ Master came back, a bucket of water and some bandages in his hands.

"Kouryuu," He began, sitting down next to me. "Where did Lei-chan go?"

I grumbled incoherently and turned my face away from him, ashamed of the way I had behaved to someone who had tried to help me. No one but Master had ever done that before. I wasn't going to back down any time soon, though. My pride was hurt. "I don't really care."

He tsked, grabbing my small hands in his large, rough ones. He gently washed the stones and dirt from them. "Is that so? It would have been nice for you to make a friend. And she seemed like a really sweet girl."

I almost wanted to pull away from him as he bandaged my hands. "How can a youkai girl be nice when she tried to beat up a human?"

"Now Kouryuu, you know you are looking at this wrong." Master said, stopping his bandaging. I could feel his eyes boring into the back of my head. "She is a girl who tried to stop you from being bullied. It doesn't matter if she is a youkai or not. Lei-chan tried to help you when you didn't even try to help yourself."

I knew that it was all true. I was just trying to find an excuse to forget that I was a coward, not even trying to defend myself. And how I had been so mean to this girl who only tried to help me. As always, Master knew what I was thinking.

"Go on now and apologize for being so ungrateful to her. You might just be able to catch up to her on the way out of the temple." I nodded and ran out towards the front gates. Lei was being ushered out by an extremely angry youkai man and a timid looking youkai woman whom I assumed to be her parents. Lei's face was a perfect mask; showing no hatred, fear or anger.

"Mr. and Mrs. Liu," Master called, "May I have a word?" The two adults followed him around a corner. I was given a sly wink and smile, signaling my chance.

I ran up to where she was leaning against the gate. "What do you want?" Lei asked hostilely.

I mumbled something quietly, shuffling my feet and wringing my hands. "What was that? I didn't hear you. " She said.

Trying again, a little louder this time, but all I got was "You need to speak up! What got you all quiet all of a sudden? Just a minute ago you were yelling at me."

Taking a deep breath, I blurted out quickly, "I'm sorry for being so rude and you getting hurt and thank you for helping me and I hope you feel better!" I felt my blush as her poker face turned into a brilliant smile. Lei pulled me into a hug, causing my face to turn even brighter.

Quickly, I pushed her off me, trying to regain my dignity. At that, she just laughed. "I knew you would come around. Your name is Kouryuu, right?" When I nodded, she said "Okay. I'll remember that. But you had better my name; Lei Liu. Now go, before the nice mister comes back with my parents." I was unceremoniously pushed back onto the path.

"His name is Master Komyo Sanzo." I huffed, walking away.

Just as I disappeared from sight, Master's voice rang out from behind me. "Oh, thank you again. I know it is a hassle to come all the way from the next town over to sell supplies, but we greatly appreciate it."

Lei's father just shrugged out the proffered hand. "You're the only people who will accept dealings with youkai. If we didn't, my family wouldn't survive the upcoming winter. Goodbye." With that, he ushered his wife towards the wagon and Lei, who gave a small wave before turning.

After watching them leave, Master walked over to me. "Did you make amends?" He asked. I nodded. A big smile was my reward. "See," a hand was ruffled through my hair, "That wasn't so bad, now was it?"


	5. Broken Reverie

I was woken from my dream by a flare of unknown energy. "Die!" A sword-wielding youkai yelled as it flew through the air towards me. On reflex, I stood with a jerk, my hand grabbing for the gun on the edge of the hot spring. I wasn't fast enough. Luckily, the idiot couldn't handle his weapon. I struggled with him for a moment before pulling the sword from his grasp and skewering him through. He fell into the water with a blood-curdling scream.

"What the hell?" Lei yelled, bursting through the doors into the roten-buro. When she laid eyes on me, her face turned an immediate red. She whipped around and stuttered, "S-sorry for barging in like that. I smelled blood. I'll go." I looked down and remembered that I was standing waist deep in a pool of steamy water.

"No. You need to see this. Grab me a yukata." I ordered as I stepped out of the bloody water, wrapping a towel around my hips. Surprisingly, my stubborn friend did what I said without complaint.

With her eyes covered with her hands, she walked back in, almost tripping into the second hot spring. "Here." Lei said, handing it to me. I put it on.

"Once again; what the hell is going on? I heard a scream." She asked, uncovering her eyes. Answering her question, I pointed towards the body lying in the water. "Damn it. The stupid bastards came back."

I looked at her questioningly. I had automatically assumed that the youkai had come for the scripture. By her reaction, Lei didn't seem to agree. "What happened here?" Hakkai inquired, walking in through the door.

Once again, I pointed to the body. "Oh dear. It seems like the local youkai have already heard about us."

The green-eyed man was interrupted by the kappa busting in after him. Jealousy covered his tan face when he saw Lei and I standing next to each other. "Aren't monks supposed to be celibate or something?" There was a splash as Goku ran in, slamming that bastard into the water just in time to avoid a bullet cracking his skull open.

"What the fuck! Ah!" He yelped when he caught sight of the body floating next to him.

"Onee-chan, I heard a scream!" The stupid monkey said, his mouth still filled with dango.

Before I could yell at the little brat, I got a sudden bad feeling. The five of us all shared knowing looks. "Come on out, you bastards. We know you're there."

A cliché evil laugh erupted through the air. "Oh look at this. How precious! The little whore has hired herself some body guards." The speaker stood atop the fence, cloaked in bright red. There were suddenly a hundred youkai standing on the fence, all armed to the teeth. Not a single one came into the onsen.

"Oh fuck off Shinobu. I don't need anything but these two fists to beat you guys." Lei countered, stepping in front of the four of us. The rest of us looked incredulously at each other. For once, they weren't after the scripture.

Another youkai walked up to the ringleader and whispered in his ear. "Forgive me. I didn't know I was speaking to the infamous Sanzo-ikkou. Looks like we can kill two birds with one stone." _Spoke too soon._

Gojyo, being the lady's man he is, stepped forward. "Listen to the lady and go away." His shakujou appeared in his hand. "Or else I'll just have to show you to the door."

"Stay away from onee-chan or I'll kill you." Goku threatened, his staff already out. He didn't seem too dangerous with his mouth full of dango. Oh how wrong appearances could be.

The green-eyed healer just sighed and shook his head. "I hope we don't cause too much damage here."

My gun was trained on this Shinobu person's head. "And just when I thought I could get some sleep." I went to pull the trigger but stopped when a hand touched my shoulder.

Lei's eyes seemed even brighter in the darkness. I was pushed back. Then my friend's hair whipped around with a sudden gust of wind, and lightning made of her own chi crackled, surrounding her hands. "I know I have warned you before Shinobu. Take a single step in this place and I will burn you and your goons to ashes. Now go away." Her voice was soft even as she threatened to kill.

A particularly stupid youkai yelled from the fence. "You think we can't take a bitch like you? Bring it on!" He jumped through the air at Lei, just as the other youkai had at me. Before he even touched the ground, there was a flash and a scream. As I blinked the spots from my eyes, his ashes scattered to the wind. Lei hadn't even moved.

"Don't make me say it again."

There was a mixture in the red-cloaked youkai's eyes of fear and defiance. "We'll kill all of you, take the scripture and reclaim this inn. Just watch!" Nyoibou, a chi-gong cannon, shakujou and one of my bullets hit empty air as the small youkai force disappeared.

I turned back to Lei, who had returned to normal. "Sorry about that you guys. The local youkai have never been fond of me." She laughed, scratching the back of her head nervously.

"Most youkai don't like us either. Don't worry about it." Hakkai comforted.

I ignored Goku and Gojyo pounding Lei with questions about her powers. Hakkai and I looked at each other.

_What was that about?_ His green eyes asked. I shrugged.

_You should find out, you know. Lei is obviously in danger._ Hakkai patronized me silently.

I just turned around and headed back inside, not even bothering to give him a glare. _Of course I want to find out. Lei didn't say anything about having youkai after her. But it really is none of my business._ _Why didn't she tell me? Maybe I should ask her later…No. It doesn't matter._ I quieted my thoughts. There was no way I was going to ask Lei anything. Her past was none of my business. _When I went back to the temple, they said that everyone had been killed letting me escape. I wonder how she got away. Damn it, stop thinking!_

I was already back in my room by the time I finally derailed my train of thought. Slipping off the yukata and replacing it with my black shirt and jeans took but a moment. Then I sat on the windowsill, looking out at the storm clouds that were right upon us. My mood immediately darkened.

Rain hadn't always bothered me. At one point, I had actually enjoyed watching a storm. Lightning dancing across the sky, free of everything; tiny droplets coating everything in a glistening blanket that would shine brightly with the coming of the sun.

After the night my master died, I could never look at it the same.

Just as my nightmare started to flash back through my head, there was a knock on the door. "Go away." I rasped harshly. Usually Hakkai would keep everyone away from me during times like this. _He'll get his ass reamed tomorrow._

"But Kouryuu, I brought you some dango and tea. Can I come in?" Lei's voice said from behind the door.

I almost said no, but something stupid in my head told me not to. "Enter."

She came in, a plate of a dango and two cups of tea with her. "I hope you still like sesame."

When I only took the tea, Lei scowled. "Don't waste the food, Kouryuu. I would give it to Goku if you don't want it, but I made so much that all three of the other boys are full. And I've never understood how people eat dango with sesame seeds. So nasty."

I took a stick of the sweet treat and nibbled it. Though I wouldn't admit it to anyone, it was one of my favorite foods. But I told myself I was just doing it to shut her up. It worked.

Lei pulled up a chair at the table and took the other cup of tea. We sat there in companionable silence for 10 or 20 minutes. It seemed like she wanted me to start a conversation. Since this had happened several times when we were kids, I knew she would win out eventually. Once, Lei didn't speak to me for a whole week. That is, until I asked her why she was doing it. 'It is to make you speak first. You have to do it eventually.' Was her simple answer.

"When will the storm dissipate?" I asked. It was a perfectly reasonable question. Nothing too personal. Or so I thought.

"Why? Trying to leave me so soon?" There was no hate or sadness. Just a simple question.

I took another sip of tea. It was excellent. "We have a schedule to keep."

She sighed, and placed her own cup down. "I'm sorry, but you might be here a while. Since I used my powers, the storm is quite angry."

I stared at her quizzically. The youkai continued. "Storms are like dogs. They are territorial. If a storm senses another in the vicinity, it will go after it until they merge and it takes over. Most of the time, my aura seems big enough to ward off others. But this one is so big, I can't turn it around. You are going to be stuck here for another night at best. Two or three if you aren't so lucky. Hopefully the former since I didn't release into my true form. If I had, I would probably be dead right now. I've told you before about the madness."

I looked out the window. The growing tempest did look like a large angry beast, coiling and twisting in on itself like a snake.

I, too, tried to seem angry. However, it was just impossible. Her eyes looked so solemn. I spoke before I could stop myself. "Don't worry about it. We needed a break anyway."

Lei's face lit up instantly. I huffed, trying to seem indifferent. Trying and failing. "You don't know how much I've missed you Kouryuu. You always knew how to cheer me up, even on the worst of days." I expected her to start talking about how wonderful her life had been after she had miraculously survived, but she stopped speaking completely.

My questions ran through my head again, and it took all of my will not to let them blurt out. After another two cups of tea each and another stick of dango for me, Lei stood. "You must be tired. I'll leave you alone." Just as she closed the door, she added, "And don't hesitate to ask if you need anything. I'm just down the hall."

Then she was gone. Hakkai's comment from earlier in the day rose back into my head. _It might be good for you to talk…The two of you should catch up…You are the happiest and most relaxed I've seen you in ages. _Just the thought made me need a cigarette. I did just that, inhaling the noxious fumes. My mind wandered, like it seemed to be doing so often today, to what Lei had just said. _I've told you before about the madness…You always know how to cheer me up, even on the worst of days._

I remembered the one day that she really had needed me.


	6. Late Realizations

~Kouryuu's POV, 10 years previous~

The little youkai girl, Lei, came once a week to Kinzan temple from the town all the way at the base of the mountain. While her parents traded with the rest of the monks, we would hang out with each other. Sometimes, we would play alone together and others Master Komyo would be with us.

She was my only friend; the only person besides Master who didn't reject me for one reason or another. A year after we first met, as I waited outside the gate for her, the sound of a wagon came from down the path. A moment later, Lei came into view. She was had on the long sleeve purple kimono she had gotten into the habit of wearing to fend off the impending chill of the autumn air.

Forgetting any pride she may have had, she ran towards me, grey hair blowing in the breeze. Waving frantically, she yelled, "Hi Kouryuu!" I stayed where I was, waiting for her to finally reach the gate. All I gave in acknowledgement was a small nod.

Lei huffed and puffed when she did, hands on knees. Before I could even open my mouth she said "I know, I know. I really ought to calm down. Jeeze, Kouryuu, you are like an old man sometimes."

I just turned and started to walk towards the big oak tree we played at. I knew she would follow. There was a huge pile of red leaves that I had raked beside it.

"So what happened when I was gone?" the youkai girl asked, smile still plastered on her face.

"Nothing much. One of the old monks keeled over finally. Hiei got in trouble again too, but that is no surprise." What was a surprise was the fact that I answered. The only time I ever talked to anyone besides Master was during lessons, and only when directly asked a question. "What happened in town?"

Lei sat in the dirt, patting a space beside her. I sat a foot farther from her. She pouted, but answered my question. "Some foreign merchants came through on their way to Chang'an. There was so much stuff there!" She stood again in her excitement. "They brought this pretty new silk that shines red, orange and yellow in the light like a sunset! It was so expensive though. Like a bazillion yen!"

Lei paced back and forth in front of me, describing the new products, people, and news that came with the merchants. She became serious for a moment. "Some people are saying that this winter is going to be bad. Already people are dying from the cold, and the first snows haven't come yet."

The worried look on her face didn't look right. I understood what Master said about worry not suiting a person. It definitely wasn't right for the girl in front of me. Instead of telling her that, I stood up. _I'm going to regret this soon enough._

"What's with the face, Kouryuu? Ah!" I pushed her into the huge pile of leaves. The frown melted off her face, replaced with a savage grin. I yelped as she pulled me down with her into the swirl of crimson.

Her laugh filled the air like thunder. "Payback is sw…" I shoved a pile of leaves on top of her, cutting her off.

The leaf war ensued. It was so much fun, I felt the corners of my lips tugging up into a smile. A while later we both fell back to the ground, exhausted. I looked at her looking at me with a goofy grin on her face. "What are you staring at?" I tried to scowl, but it was pathetic.

"It isn't so hard to smile, now is it?" She cackled as I blushed bright red, hand covering my face.

"Kouryuu, Lei, time for lunch!" Master called from the porch of the nearest building. I was up in an instant, glad to have some excuse not to answer.

When I didn't hear Lei, I turned around. She was still sitting on the stones. "I'll be there in a second. I'm just going to go wash my hands in the stream." I shrugged and left her, heading towards Master's room.

"Where is Lei-chan?" He asked when I arrived.

"Washing her hands." I answered bluntly, reaching out for a bowl of rice. As I put the chopsticks to my mouth, Master 'tsked', that familiar sound of disapproval and sometimes bemusement.

"Ladies eat first, Kouryuu. Go and get her before the food gets cold." I went and did as he said. I walked back outside and down the path towards the tiny mountain stream that flowed through the temple grounds.

Before I turned a corner, a little whimper made me pause behind a tree. I peered around it to see Lei kneeling by the water. Her kimono sleeves were up to reveal a large bruise around her wrist. _I couldn't have done that, could I?_ I dismissed the thought as impossible; no bruise would have shown up that fast. Lei pulled down her sleeves and turned towards the path.

I ran back a few feet and walked back towards her rather loudly. "What is taking you so long? The food is getting cold!"

"Okay, I'm coming." The youkai girl skipped up the path, and we ate as we normally would. I mentioned nothing of the bruise.

I should have said something to Master Komyo right then and there.

The next week, something similar happened. When Lei and I left to go jumping on the rocks by the river, her legs gave out from under her before we even started. The week after that, she had a hard time breathing. She clutched her side the whole day. Then she came up to the temple with a split lip and a black eye.

Each incident was blamed on something stupid: falling down a pair of stairs, getting in a fight with some other kids in the village, twisting an ankle while in a new pair of geta. When she got the split lip, I could no longer keep silent. Right after she left with her parents, I ran off to Master Komyo.

"Master, can I come in?" I said after knocking lightly on his door.

"Of course my little Kouryuu. Has Lei-chan and her parents left already?" I nodded and sat where he indicated.

The older man walked over, two cups of tea in his hands. "What brings you here in such a state?"

I blurted out "I think something bad is happening to Lei."

The smile faded away, and his eyes, usually squinted with happiness, opened fully. "I've been thinking the same thing. Tell me what makes you think so."

And I did, from how she wasn't klutzy enough to fall so often to how the injuries always seemed to be hidden under clothes. Master nodded understandingly, sipping his tea. "I have a feeling that I know what is going on. Don't worry, I'll take care of it."

"But who do you think is doing this?" I asked impatiently. He changed the subject.

That next week, while Lei was using the restroom before leaving, I wandered off towards the wagon where Mr. Liu and his wife loaded the leftover goods. "I can't believe what you are accusing me of, Master Sanzo!" The youkai man's voice said defensively. Quietly as I could, I hid behind some foliage and saw the two men just inches away from each other in a stare down.

"I know what is happening to your daughter, Mr. Liu. Either you are abusing her, or you know who is. Whichever one it is, you are still responsible. Don't let it happen again." The threatening tone surprised me. Master was usually so gentle and kind. This powerful new side of him made me cower from behind the bush I was hiding in.

"This will be the last time we come up for the winter. The passes are closed, so we won't be getting in any new goods. We'll be back in a few months."

I ran off towards where I told Lei to meet me. "Why didn't you tell me you would be gone for a few months?" I yelled at the form sitting on the ground.

Her smile was sad. "I wanted to have fun today and not brood over the bad news. But don't worry. I'll be back sooner than you think." She wrapped me in a warm hug, arms encircling my neck. I froze, not knowing what to do. Then I slowly copied what she did, except around her waist.

Lei pulled back, smiling from ear to ear. "I've known you a whole year and that is the first time you've hugged me back. There's hope for you yet Kouryuu."

We walked back towards the wagon. Master leaned down to our level. "I'll see you soon, Lei. We'll all miss you." He said, opening his arms for a hug. As they did, I saw him slip a piece of paper under her blue obi. He winked at her, which she returned.

And then she was gone, trudging down the path by her mother at the end of the wagon her father pulled. When they were finally out of sight, I turned to my master.

"What was that you gave her?"

He chuckled softly. "My Kouryuu is so observant. It was just a note telling her that even you'll miss her." I blushed madly and ran off to finish the rest of my chores.

Later, when my mind had cleared, I remembered the conversation Master had had with Mr. Liu. I would have confronted him myself if I hadn't freaked out when hearing it was their last trip for the season.

_That bastard knew that Lei was getting hurt or he is doing it himself! I can't believe that Lei would let that happen. _I stopped myself. If she was getting hurt by an adult, there was nothing she could do about it, no matter how stubborn she was. She was only eight or nine like me. Even a girl like her could get hurt.

I was furious. _Why didn't she tell me? I could have helped her._ I stormed off towards Master's room. He was leaning on the tree outside, a pipe in his hands.

"You are so talkative lately. It really is nice. What has upset you so?" He asked, looking at the setting sun.

I stopped myself from blurting out everything I was thinking. "Why didn't she tell me what was happening to her?" I mumbled.

By some miracle, my mentor heard. "Did you tell anyone that you were being bullied Kouryuu?" I shook my head, and he continued. "Exactly. You both are too prideful to ask for help. I noticed what was happening a little while ago, but you can't just accuse someone of abuse without substantial proof."

He took a puff of his pipe. I was going to have to lecture him later. "It took up until now for me to be certain. I noticed you saw our confrontation." I blushed, turning my head. "Mr. Liu knows that we don't take well to abuse of anyone. If he wants our business, he'll stop the violence."

He was oh so wrong.


	7. Deadly Rescue

During the winter, I started my martial arts training. I worked as hard as I could so that I would never be defenseless again. One day, I was talking to Master Komyo after a brutal day of training in the cold. We sat in his room with tea, like we usually did.

"I wonder how Lei-chan is faring." Master said out of the blue. I jerked back slightly and winced. Part of the reason for my extreme interest in martial arts was to keep my mind off my friend alone in the village below with her scumbag of a father. But I said nothing. My mentor continued. "You know, after this blizzard, I was thinking of sending you down to the village to buy some more tobacco. Looking at falling snow just isn't the same without my pipe. And I'm just too busy to leave. You are responsible enough to go by yourself."

I took a sip of my tea to hide my smile. _Maybe I can find Lei while I'm down there._ Master smirked. The last big storm was supposed to come in a few days, and then it would be another week before the passes cleared and merchants could get through. It would have been another week and a half until Lei would have come up.

So after the snow stopped falling and the wind died down, I wrapped myself up in my warmest clothes and headed down the path that Lei had traveled on so often. It wasn't my first time leaving the temple, but I had never gone alone before. The trees were covered in leaves of ice and snow. The path was slippery, stones that were supposed to be for traction iced over.

It took three hours to finally reach the base where the village was. That was when I realized I had no idea where Lei lived. She had never mentioned it. I walked towards the town square that was still bustling despite the weather.

"Do you know where Mr. and Mrs. Liu live?" I asked the man who I bought Master's tobacco from. He shook his head.

Twenty more people and twenty fruitless answers later, I bumped into an old hag. _Might as well ask._ I did. She smiled at me, just two rotting teeth left in her mouth. "Why yes I do dearie. Go to the southern edge of town and follow the deer path. That is where you'll find the little youkai family."

I ran through the rest of the village until I reached the outskirts. The path she spoke of had the tire marks of the wagon Mr. Liu pulled. As I hiked up the mountainous path, the wind picked up and snow started to fall slowly. It took another half hour to make it to the top. I was appalled to see a tiny hut as the only form of shelter. Smoke rose from a hole in the roof.

I walked to the entrance and called out my friend's name. There was no answer. I tried again. This time, I heard a tiny whisper. "Kouryuu?" It was so faint, I almost didn't catch it. Pushing aside the cloth, I entered the shack.

Smoke filled my vision, but it was no warmer than it was outside. I searched for a moment for the source of the murmur. In a corner, a shape moved slightly. I knelt down beside it. Dull yellow eyes peered out from a pile of straw. "Kouryuu? Is that really you?"

I couldn't speak. Lei was filthy; she was covered in dirt and smelled of urine and death. Her purple silk kimono was replaced with a thin, un-dyed yukata. I could count her ribs from under it.

Recovering from my horror, I said "Yes, it is me. What happened?" My voice was hoarse.

"We ran out of food just three weeks after I last saw you. Dad traded my kimono and my mom's down in the village. The money only lasted a week." Coughs raked her small frame before she continued. "Then I caught a cold. I gave it to Mom, and she got pneumonia." Tears spilled from her eyes, leaving trails down her cheeks. "She's over there." Over on the other side of the hut was a lump covered with a small blanket. A small hand peeped out from under it, colored an icy blue. "He left a week ago and hasn't come back."

I gently lifted her head up onto my lap, blocking her view of her mother's corpse. Anger bubbled up inside of me. _Her own father abused her, exposed her to the cold, starved her, and then blamed her for her mother's death. I don't know much, but that isn't how parents should treat their children._ The fire in my stomach turned to ice when she whispered "Mmm. You are warm Kouryuu. Could you put some wood on the fire? It really is cold in here."

I tossed the last pieces of tinder onto the tiny flame. The temperature in the hut grew less than a degree. "Lei, I have to go back to the temple to get Master Komyo. He'll…" She shook her head.

"Don't leave me alone here. I, I don't want to be alone with her anymore. I can feel her staring at me." I went through my options in my head. _I can't just leave her alone. She probably won't make survive long enough for me to go up the mountain and then come back down. The villagers obviously don't like youkai since they wouldn't trade with them. So I can't count on them. There is only one option left…_

"Lei," I said, looking down into her hazy eyes, "Can you make it up the mountain with me?" She looked at me and nodded.

"I'll try." I sat her up as gently as I could. She must have lost twenty pounds. I tried to pull her to her feet, but she screamed. "I think he broke my leg!" I looked down and saw under the straw her left leg was snapped in two. Her bare feet were showing the telltale signs of frost bite.

I ripped off my cloak and wrapped it around her tiny frame. "I'll be back in just a second. Don't worry, I'm not leaving you." I ran outside and tugged on a tree branch, breaking it with a snap. I came back in and knelt beside her.

"I'm going to have to splint your leg. This is really going to hurt, but we have to do it." She nodded. Taking off my scarf, I lay the branch next to her broken leg. "I'm going to count to three. When I do, I'm going to pull on your leg. Get ready. One. Two. Three!" There was a sickening crunch as I pulled, popping the broken bone back into position. Lei went an ashen gray with the pain, but didn't scream. Instead, she bit down on one of her hands. Blood seeped down from between her lips.

I quickly wrapped the tree branch to her leg with the scarf. Seeing that her feet would have to be removed if they weren't warmed, I took off my shoes and gave her my socks. Then I lifted Lei to her feet gingerly. I stood on her left so she could lean on me for support. Right when she reached the door Lei asked in a broken whisper, "C-could you say a prayer over my mom? She wasn't the greatest, but I still loved her."

_I'm not exactly qualified yet, but okay. Maybe it will give her peace of mind._ For some reason, I got the feeling that Lei's emotional state played a key role in her survival. "Go outside and I'll do it."

She hobbled out, and I walked over to the lump on the floor. I removed the blanket from the body to find that Lei was right; her mother had been staring at her. Her entire body was perfectly preserved by the cold. The eyes were glazed over with death and she too wore a thin yukata. I thought back to the few times Master Komyo had prayed over the body of a dead person. I repeated what he said as well as I could.

It disgusted me, but I took the blanket with me outside. We might need it later on. It would take about 4 hours to trek back up the path in normal weather. With the snow, wind, and an injured Lei, it would take much longer. I stepped back outside where the youkai girl leaned on the hut.

I took my position beside her, one arm wrapped around her waist, the other holding the hand that was slung over my shoulder. She stopped me when I headed towards the path I had come from. "There is another way to the main path we can go through that doesn't go through town. It is faster. Over there."

Off to the side was a small break in the trees. Luckily for us, it was shielded somewhat from the wind. And so we set off.

The going was slow and dangerous. Lei was so light that if I had been just a little bigger, I could have carried her myself. I practically had to anyway. She couldn't put any pressure on her broken limb or the leg would start to give out.

It was so cold. The wind bit into my bones and dried my eyes to the point of stinging. If it was that bad for me, it was a thousand times worse for my friend. She was skin and bones; the only thing keeping her warm her virtually useless yukata and my cloak.

We trudged on for about 10 minutes before we made it to the main road that would take us to the temple. An hour later, the snow started to come down harder. I slipped on a stone, taking the both of us down.

"Kouryuu, just go without me. I'll be fine. I'll just sit here and rest." Lei sounded like she was half-asleep.

"Stay awake. You can't fall asleep whatever you do." Horror stories of what happened to travelers in this weather flitted through my mind. "Tell me a story."

As we got going again, she talked about anything and everything from her first memory to the time we met. When she ran out of happy tales, she told me of the bad. Like all the times her father hit her and her mother or when she got into fights with local kids because she was a youkai.

"Even normal youkai don't like us. Weather demons always seem to go mad with the overload of tapping into a big storm. Half of the time they blow up how towns and kill hundreds. The other half just burn themselves to a crisp. Mom says…said it is just because they are power hungry. Kouryuu, aren't you tired? I'm exhausted."

I would be lying if I said I wasn't. My legs felt like lead, I was soaked to the bone and I really was carrying Lei now. "Talk some more. I'm really bored."

She whined, almost like her old self, "But I don't have anything else to talk about. I pretty much gave you my life story."

"Do something. Anything. I don't know; recite poetry, sing, hum, say a prayer. Just don't fall asleep okay?"

Lei chuckled, but it turned into a cough. "You might regret asking me to sing. So I'll just hum." Her entire body reverberated with the hum. It was a song from one of those ballads that people performed at fairs.

_You probably wouldn't sound __that__ bad singing._ I thought bemusedly as she went to the next verse. What seemed like eternity passed before I felt her head loll over onto my shoulder. The humming stopped. "Lei? Lei are you awake? Lei!"

"Kouryuu, stop being so loud. It really is quite hard to get some sleep while you are blabbering in my ear." I wanted to smack her.

"I don't want you to do to sleep. You need to stay up. We are almost there." I lied. I had no idea how close we were to the temple. We could have been two feet away and I wouldn't have been able to tell. The snow and wind created a dense fog that blocked my site beyond two feet in front of me.

She yawned. "Tell me a story then. I'm sick of talking. My throat hurts."

"How about this? I ask you a question and then you ask me one. Sound like a plan." I felt her nod. "Okay. You go first. What do you want to know?"

She pondered for a moment. "When is your birthday?"

"I don't have one."

Lei gasped, appalled. "How can you not have a birthday? You are alive aren't you?"

"I was thrown into the river by my parents when I was a baby. Master Komyo rescued me. My name is the name of the river. I don't know when I was born. And yes, I am alive." _But not for much longer at the rate we are going. _"That was three questions. When is your birthday, what is your favorite color and what is your favorite season?" I pulled three questions off the top of my head.

"I was born three days before the summer equinox, my favorite color is purple like your eyes and my favorite kimono. I used to like winter but now I'm not sure." I let a smile appear on my face. Somehow she still had a sense of humor while dying. "What is your favorite color?"

Never before had someone asked me something trivial like that. I thought back on the day Master made the paper airplane, and how beautiful it looked against the sky. "Orange. I like orange."

Our question and answer game went on for what seemed like forever. Lei finally asked something that brought me back to our horrible predicament. "Kouryuu, do you really think we are going to make it?"

"Kouryuu! Oh dear gods." I heard my master's voice ring out all around us. Looking up, I saw at the crest of the path the big red gate.

We both fell to the ground, completely exhausted. "Yes." I whispered to her before passing out.

When I awoke, I was lying in a warm, comfortable futon. "Good, you're awake." Master's voice warmed my heart. It was filled with such concern and love, I knew that I really was alive.

I got up and saw him sitting behind us, watching over the two of us like a guardian angel.

"Jeeze, Kouryuu! I woke up before you and you weren't even injured." Lei's voice rang out from beside me. She was sitting up already. I stopped myself from sighing with relief.

"Well sorry if I'm not a youkai with super healing abilities." I retorted instead.

Master laughed. "Lei-chan, you only woke up an hour before him. Don't give him such a hard time. If I had left you on your own to heal, you would have woken up in a week not three days."

"Wait. I was asleep for three days?" I asked, incredulous. This time the two of them laughed. I hid back under the covers and turned away from them. "I'm going back to sleep."

I was hit in the head by a pillow. Scowling, I saw my attacker was Lei. "Now now. You wouldn't let me go back to sleep, so now you can't either." She stuck her tongue out at me.

A while later I found out that if I hadn't gone down that day, Lei would have died from infection, hypothermia or starvation. Her leg still took weeks to heal and we would have had to amputate her hands and feet if she wasn't a youkai. It took months to gain all the weight she had lost.

It took longer still for her to get over the traumatic incident. After the snowstorm, monks had gone down to bury her mother and give her a proper sermon. Lei couldn't go, but when she could, she walked to the graveyard outside the temple to grieve. When she returned, nothing seemed amiss. Nevertheless, occasionally I would hear her crying from the room next to mine in the middle of the night. Once or twice, I followed her down to the grave under the cover of darkness and watched her mourn.

Needless to say, Lei lived at the temple. I had expected the other monks to throw a hissy fit, but Master Komyo would have none of it. I had a feeling that he blamed himself for her mistreatment. I know I did. If I had just spoken up sooner, she would never have been hurt so badly.

But her bastard of a father had left for good. Or so we thought.


	8. Strange Occurence

~Back to the Present, Sanzo's POV~

I awoke not to clear morning sunlight but rain pattering on my window. You couldn't even tell if it was morning or not yet. "Fuck it." I complained quietly as I sat up. The weather already put me in a bad mood. I puffed a couple cigarettes to calm my nerves. Despite what I thought would happen, the noxious smoke actually worked. I felt like I could deal with human company. _And why the hell is that? It is raining; I should be contemplating suicide._

There was no way I was going to go downstairs, though, and risk running into Lei and having to start an awkward conversation. I walked around my room for a while, trying to shake the sleep from my body. "Oh my God, food!" The monkey yelled, his squeals of delight at an almost supersonic level.

_That is my cue._ To stop suspicions that I was waiting for someone, I slowly got dressed. Since I didn't plan to expose myself to the rain, I cast aside the heavy robes of my office and stuck with what I wore underneath: jeans, a black shirt and matching gloves. My gun, glasses, and scripture were put on my belt.

Casually, I made my way down the stairs to see I had gone too slowly. Gojyo and Goku were sitting on either side of Lei. One flirted and the other stuffed his face to the max. "…and he said that he was born with it." Both adults started to laugh at the punch line of the water sprite's joke.

Just as a pang of _something_ clutched at my stomach, Lei saw me standing in the doorway. "Good morning Kouryuu! You hungry?" She asked just as enthusiastically as when we were kids.

I shook my head. Goku actually looked up from his food. "Sanzo only ever has coffee." Both males looked surprised and suspicious at my appearance. _Probably because I never come down on days like this. _But something made me come downstairs and avoid the ocean of agony and self pity I would be swimming in while in my room.

The woman huffed and ushered me to sit down by the monkey. "Coffee stunts your growth you know." I let out a little 'hn' to acknowledge she had spoken. "If you got some food in you, your blood sugar wouldn't be so low and you wouldn't be cranky. Everyone would like that, wouldn't they otouto?"

Goku looked torn between disappointing his new favorite person and staying alive. Gojyo cackled hysterically from his seat. "The stuck up monk is getting a lecture. This is rich!"

"Go screw that hooker we saw on the corner and shut up." I mumbled, staring at the plate in front of me. It had bacon, eggs, pancakes, and toast on it. I picked at it carefully and found that it was actually good. Even if I was hungry in the morning, I've never liked breakfast food.

"Wasn't that a guy?" Goku asked, oblivious.

Hakkai walked in quiet as a cat and took a seat. "Yes, I believe it was."

The smart-ass remark the red head was about to say got cut off when Lei smacked him hard on the back of the head. "Look who's calling the kettle black. All you've done is inhale half a pack of cigarettes and drink a pot of coffee. You aren't a god; people can't survive on nicotine and caffeine alone." I smirked lightly from behind my mug of joe.

Our healer sighed. "That is what I've been trying to tell them as long as I've known them. Neither wants to listen." Both shook their heads as Lei grabbed the man a plate of his own food.

"Even if the heavens weren't pouring down, I wouldn't have suggested any sightseeing spots in town." Our hostess said afterwards, standing to clean up the meal. All three of my traveling companions came up behind her and pushed her back down. They grabbed the dishes out of her hand and headed towards the kitchen. All Lei did was shake her head in a mix of defeat and amusement.

"I've heard the temple isn't bad, but I wouldn't know myself." She chuckled darkly. "The head priest could actually tell what I was even with the limiters. It seems like demons aren't welcome on holy ground anymore. Can't say that I blame the old geezer though. One too many people were slaughtered while praying to their gods for mercy." Her eyes went momentarily dim and her lips were curled in a sadistic smile. That morbid sense of humor didn't fit her well.

I took a sip of the tea I had found out was orange and clove over breakfast. "Then why is this dump so big?"

"It wasn't until about seven years ago supposedly. This demon named Shinrei stationed his drug dealing business here. Then he upgraded to slavery with the money he made, giving this place a huge red lantern district." Again, her face went cold.

"Where there are whore houses there are horny guys to screw them." I muttered, thinking of Gojyo. Lei chuckled a little. I looked at her in confusion.

"I was trying to put it in more polite terms for your holiness's ears, but yes. This little village grew into a giant city connecting to the main road. More tea?" I nodded, and she poured me another cup. "You were always fond of tea, no matter the weather."

Her comment reminded me of the storm outside and I got to wondering. Right as I was about to ask one of my burning questions, Hakkai walked in with the two idiots. "Speaking of tea, do you mix this yourself?" The former human asked.

"Yeah. I do a couple of other recipes too, but this one is my favorite for the morning. I've just never liked the stuff I get in town." The two started blabbering about tea and other crap that most people who weren't on a ridiculous journey West would. An annoying voice in my head asked _Why don't you join in? Just because you are __you__ doesn't mean you have to be so cold to your friends._

I responded to myself quietly, "Those three aren't my friends. And I don't even know Lei anymore." I didn't notice Lei's ear twitch and the frown that obscured her features for a split second.

The rest of the day was spent like we would any other. Gojyo and Goku constantly bickered and I threatened to kill them several times. Hakkai spoke with Lei while doing his daily chores. Lei helped him out with stuff like sewing and cleaning clothes in between doing her own tasks or speaking with me about stupid trivial stuff. I read the newspaper and tried to ignore the horrible weather outside and the memories that flooded in with them.

Now granted, I would normally be boarded up inside my room if the weather were like this. After my change in behavior at coming downstairs, I decided to go back to my suffering. But Lei would have none of it. "I'm not going to let you waste the only time we've had together in ten years!" Most people would have used that to lead into talking about what had happened in that time, but once again, she didn't say a peep.

Over a delicious dinner of chicken ramen, Hakkai couldn't take it any longer. "Lei, I'm know that I'm prying, but what was that situation about yesterday?" The weather demon finished slurping up a bite of noodles.

"Oh that? It is nothing to worry about, really." Her smile and voice were too sincere even to me. Gojyo noticed it as well, being the people person he was.

"You're telling us not to worry about a horde of demons threatening to kill you and steal your inn? Even Goku isn't that stupid."

The monkey didn't catch the insult. "Yeah! That was a lot of demons."

"Let's just say that Shinobu's actions are technically justified. I stole this inn from that bastard first." The three guys looked astonished. I was just barely able to keep my jaw from dropping. "What?" Lei said defensively, "It isn't like the man wasn't a cock sucking scumbag before, and I needed a place of my own. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Still is actually." She took a sip of tea as if it were nothing at all. "There are many reasons I'll probably go to hell and theft is at the bottom of the list. You guys honestly can't tell me that you've done nothing worse."

Lei's words were stinging with a slight undertone of accusation. Hakkai's real eye went hazy for a moment at awful memories. The water sprite shifted uncomfortably in his seat. I forced back the ghosts of my own past that threatened to overtake me. Of course, the monkey knew of nothing of what he might have done in his life before I freed him. He somehow had the good sense to keep quiet.

"Thank you very much for the meal, Lei," Hakkai said, standing up quite abruptly, "But if you'll excuse me, I have to take care of some things." He left without another word, his normally calm façade shaken. His best friend followed, red hair flowing behind him.

"Goku dear, could you help me with the dishes?" The little saru nodded enthusiastically, probably expecting some sort of treat afterwards. They left, taking the used dinnerware with them.

I headed back to my room, ready for the onslaught my imagination would give me this stormy night. Somehow, I was able to deal with human companionship through the whole day. _Technically they aren't human._ That annoying voice whispered in the back of my skull. I responded, _Either way it was fucking irritating seeing Hakkai watch me like a hawk all day and the two idiots gape at me like I was a damn lake monster._

Knowing that the dark was going to bring feverish dreams, I didn't even bother to shower. Why get clean know when I would have to clean the sweat off in the morning? I just stripped to my jeans and lay down on the bed. "Let the nightmares begin." I murmured to the gods that must send the hellish memories into my head every time it rained. As always, they delivered. And as always, the dreams were just as vivid as they were the first night.


	9. Last Words

"Do you know why a Sanzo priest wears his sutra on his shoulders? It expresses his will to carry the burden of his karma. Watch, Kouryuu. As long as you don't lose sight of yourself you can accept even that weight. Forgive me for being so brief, but the rest is up to you Genjyo Sanzo." my master said on that stormy night as he was torn to pieces by the youkai who had come for the Seiten scripture. I couldn't move; I could barely breathe. The slashes, the blood, and the tears pouring from my eyes distorted the once smiling face of the only man I could call father.

For the longest time, I wondered why the youkai left me alive. It may have been Master Komyo's doing somehow. Or they might not have seen me. There was no way I survived the encounter because of mercy; beings that cruel don't understand the word. Other than that, I'll never know. But I don't know how many times I wished that I was a pile of human flesh on the floor instead of existing as I do now.

The loop that my nightmares were usually on was thrown off this night. Instead of replaying the horrible scene a hundred times, it flicked forward to after I was crowned Genjyo Sanzo. Lei was waiting outside for me, as she was not allowed to watch the proceedings.

"What happened Kouryuu?" She asked, falling in step with me as I made my way to meet one of the monks.

I pulled the crown out from my robe and the scripture that I was given. "I am no longer Kouryuu. My name is Genjyo Sanzo, the thirty-first of China."

The youkai girl had been living at the temple for a three years but she still didn't get the meaning of my new responsibility. "What does all that mean? You'll always be Kouryuu to me, no matter what a bunch of stuck up old geezers say."

"Do you know what this is?" I asked, pulling my bangs up and revealing the chakra on my forehead.

"Oh," Lei nodded, "That is the same red dot that Master Komyo has…had on his forehead." She made her perfect poker face at the thought of my dead master. He had taken care of her as he did me, so the youkai girl regarded him as much of a father as I had. Lei had been the first person to arrive at the tragedy. The bloody scene had made her gasp in shock, but she dragged me out of the room and into her arms before she broke down. We had stood in silence for what seemed like eternity, tears pouring down both of our faces. I snapped back to the present as Lei shook me. "Kouryuu, are you okay?"

I didn't respond. The question was a stupid one. "Do you get it now? I am taking Master's place as a Sanzo." I didn't wait for her answer. There was nothing more I could say if she did not.

We continued walking until we met the old monk outside a shed that I had never bothered to explore. "Come here, Kouryuu. I mean, Master Sanzo." He beckoned, opening the ancient door with a rusty creak. "I know that Buddhism does not approve of causing harm to another creature, but you no longer have that option. Take your pick." The entire structure was filled with every weapon imaginable. Spears the size of tree saplings lined the walls and swords glittered in the light seeping through the door. All of them looked too heavy and flashy. It took me but a moment to catch sight of a small bundle in the back of the room.

Underneath the blanket was a Smith and Wesson revolver. It was a little heavier than it looked, but would be much easier for me to handle and master than the others. I grabbed it, some bullets, and the cleaning gear I would need. "Good choice." The old monk said.

"Why do you need a gun?" Lei asked as I exited the shed.

Frankly, I was getting quite tired of her constant questions. "I'm going after the scripture the youkai stole." I twisted and turned the weapon in my hand experimentally, trying to get a feel for it. My life depended on my mastery of the killing device in my hand.

"Okay, when do we leave?" I turned to see yellow eyes hard with determination.

"What do you mean 'we'? You aren't coming. You're staying…" And I received a sharp crack on the back of the head. "Hey!"

Lei had her arms crossed and shook her head like she would to a petulant child. "There is no way I'm letting you go off on your own after a band of youkai! What kind of friend would I be if I let you do something so reckless? And I don't give a damn about your Buddhist BS; I want revenge for what they have taken from us." Her claws seemed that much sharper and fangs that much longer as she voiced what had been on her mind. Sometimes I forget that my best and only friend was a dangerous youkai who could tear my throat out in a heartbeat.

I had never been able to change her mind before. There wasn't any way I'd be able to do it now. And honestly, I was glad that I wouldn't be going alone. A demon, despite the fact that she was a young girl, would help immensely in my search. "Okay, go grab your stuff. We have to leave now."

In a matter of minutes Lei was out and ready. She changed into the purple kimono that Master and I had gotten for her birthday that past year. "She isn't a Buddhist," Master had said when I questioned the present, "Lei is just a poor orphaned girl. She deserves something pretty." She had cried and squeezed both of us half to death, swearing to treasure it forever. The only other things she had with her was a pair of sturdy shoes, a heavy gray raincoat and a burlap sack.

We stopped by the kitchen and filled it and my own pack with as much food and money as we could. "Come quickly!" One of the monks yelled, pulling us out of the building and rushing us to a side path. "You need to get out of here before the bandits close off the pass. Hurry!"

The two of us started running up the small deer path as fast as we could. Lei had to slow down to let me keep up with her inhuman speed. We broke through a clearing in the trees and saw Kinzan temple up in flames. "Kouryuu, we have to keep moving."

Ten minutes later, the youkai girl stopped in her tracks. I ran right into her back and almost fell over. "Do you hear that?" Her ears pricked up and twitched slightly, trying to catch some noise too quiet for me to detect.

I shook my head. "There it goes again. Someone is after us. A group of someone's, actually. Crap!" She pushed me into a bush unceremoniously and jumped down beside me.

Eight men appeared a couple hundred feet down the path. And at the head of the little pack was a very familiar face. "Father!" Lei hissed, digging her claws into my arm. It was him indeed. He was soaked from head to toe in human blood.

"We have to kill that little brat and grab the other scripture. There are a lot of powerful people, human and youkai alike, that would pay a good amount of money to get a hold of it. And we are going to get the lion's share of that cash." The other seven youkai cheered, waving axes and knives in the air.

They started coming our way, and it would be just a matter of seconds before they caught our scent. "Kouryuu, you are going to have to do something for me." Lei whispered frantically, grasping my hands in both of hers. "You have to make a run for it. Those seven idiots will be no problem for me to handle, but my father is another matter. I don't have full control of my powers. He does. I can't have you anywhere in the area just in case I lose it." I tried to protest, but she clasped a hand over my mouth.

"Please, Kouryuu, do this for me. He killed my mother, Master Komyo, and left me for dead. I can't let him get away with it. And I won't let him hurt you. Ever." The sheer resolve that shone in her eyes told me that she would have it no other way.

I looked down at my wrist and saw the matching red prayer bead bracelet that I had given to Shuei just days earlier. Quickly, I took it off and thrust it into her hands. "You had better give this back to me. I'll never forgive you if you don't."

Lei smiled and slipped it over her hand. "I promise." She swiftly pulled me into a hug and then thrust me out of the bush towards the path. "Now hurry! Don't wait for me. I'll try to catch up." She paused for a moment, as if trying to find the words. "You had better live, Kouryuu."

I ran as fast and hard as I possibly could. If I were caught, Lei's plan would all be for nothing. Someone behind me yelled, "Did you hear that? Over th…Ack!" A blood-curdling scream cut it off. I allowed myself to look back once to see two youkai on the ground in a pool of their own blood. The other five surrounded Lei and were closing in. I almost pulled out my gun when a wind started whipping about her and there was a flash. Her attackers had been burned out of existence.

The last thing I saw was Mr. Liu summoning a crackling energy around him and Lei rushing forward almost too fast for the human eye. Then the trees engulfed me whole.


	10. Cold Whispers

I shot up in an instant, sweat soaking the sheets. The memories of all the people I had slain and all the guilt I carried bore down on me in the silence of the moonless night. Rain continued to patter on the window, making a light shushing sound. To some, it might be comforting, but to me it was more like whispers.

_**Why don't you kill yourself? **_

_**The world would be better without you contaminating it…**_

_**Pull the trigger…**_

_**End it…**_

"No!" I croaked, throat sore from suppressed screams. "Suicide is wrong."

_**Since when have you been a proper monk?**_

_**All the pain will go away…**_

_**Stop your suffering…**_

_**End it…**_

I curled into a ball, hands covering my ears, trying to block out the voices to no avail. "I have to find Master's sutra. I have responsibilities."

_**No one but you cares about that silly scroll…**_

_**Why are you prolonging the inevitable?**_

_**Who would miss you?**_

_**No one…**_

_**Just end it…**_

"Gojyo wouldn't care, but Hakkai would go crazy and Goku needs me. You've seen how he is. And I promised Lei."

_**We've seen their true nature, and so have you…**_

_**The three would kill you the moment they got the chance…**_

_**And you ran away from her…**_

_**Let her die…**_

_**What kind of person does that to another…**_

_**No one…**_

_**You're just not human….**_

_**You're a monster…**_

_**End it…**_

"Shut up!" My head pounded with a headache and I couldn't think straight.

_**Just pick up the gun and pull the trigger…**_

_**End it…**_

Slowly, as it had done so many times in the past, my hand reached for my Smith and Wesson. It fit flawlessly in my palm. _Just perfect to aim at my own head._ The cold steel sent a shiver down my spine as it pressed against my temple.

Just as I went to pull the trigger, I broke through the fog clouding my mind. "I didn't kill Lei. She is alive and just down the hall." I threw the gun down in disgust at my own stupidity.

For ten years, guilt for leaving the girl behind had eaten away at my conscience. What kind of person left their best friend alone to die? Now that I knew she had survived, the weight on my shoulders was lifted, if only a little. _Who would think one less life at my hands would make me feel so…relieved?_

I tossed the suffocating covers off and stood on the icy floor, heading towards the connecting bathroom. Once there, I splashed water on my face, washing away the night terror's affects. The purple eyes that I despised were bloodshot from lack of sleep and my hated blond hair clung to my features. I looked like I should to other people: horrible and ugly.

"Ugh, I need a cigarette." With shaking hands, I lit my little cylinder of bad karma. The toxins I breathed in stung my lungs and throat but somehow calmed my nerves. I looked at the clock on the bedside table and saw it was three o'clock in the morning. I reached for another cigarette and saw the one in my hand was the last in the pack.

Five minutes of searching was fruitless. _Hakkai's pack is downstairs on the counter. He might have more._ I didn't even bother putting on a shirt. No sane person would be up at this godforsaken hour. Even so, I crept as quietly as I could. All four of my floor mates were youkais with incredible hearing and I didn't need them asking me stupid questions later.

I alighted the stairs silently, tiptoeing down. When I reached the knapsack, I began rummaging through the pack. But for the life of me, I couldn't find my Marlboros in the shadowy room. "Damn it," I mumbled. A soft sigh from behind caught my attention.

Yellow eyes shone iridescently through the darkness. I tensed instinctively, reaching for the gun that I didn't have. As the being got closer, I saw it was Lei. Her thundercloud dark hair made her white sleeping yukata all the brighter. "Let me," she whispered, accidently brushing her hands against mine. I jerked back automatically at the light touch. In a matter of seconds, the youkai had found my cigarettes. I grunted a thank you but didn't head back towards the stairs. "Couldn't sleep, ey?"

If I had been in a more talkative mood, I would have said how stupid a question that was. Instead, I just asked, "Why are you still up?"

Lei lifted up her hand and her grey locks went with it as if she had rubbed a balloon against her hair. "Storm's got me all riled up and my power limiter isn't the best in the world." Another sigh escaped her lips. "Couldn't sleep a wink if I tried."

"Where did you get a power limiter anyway?" They weren't the easiest thing to find. The charms needed to be blessed by a priest or filled with the power of a stronger youkai; something to make their chi want to hide. Gojyo didn't need one because he was a half youkai, and I had made Hakkai's personally. The gods themselves made the stupid monkeys. And I couldn't see anything that would resemble one on her.

She sat down on the steps and patted the part beside her. I took the proffered seat and lit a smoke. "While I was ru…traveling around, I met some weirdo scientist on the road. I got him to pump some of his power into this." Lei lifted her wrist once again, this time revealing the red prayer beads. I stayed silent as she continued despite my shock. "It was on you for such a long time that there was some residual energy in it. I just needed the guy to reactivate it for me, in a sense. But since you didn't intentionally put your chi in it, the beads only left enough to barely keep me contained. Sometimes I can hear the whispers of the madness coming past the barrier."

I felt something delicately land on my shoulder and there was a light crackling sound. Looking down, I saw it was her head. Somehow the sneaky woman had leaned in too close for my comfort. But I was too lazy, or too shocked, to move. "The only thing that kept me going this past ten years was the promise I made to see you again. Do you remember?" She wouldn't look at me.

I almost laughed. _Of course I do,_ I wanted to say, _I was just having a nightmare about it five minutes ago._ "Yeah," I replied, letting out a cloud of smoke.

"I'm glad. I know that you must have been through a lot judging by my own experience. But it's great to know that you made such good friends along the way, though I never would have imagined you picking up such a motley crew. A half youkai, a human turned youkai and something not completely…right. They seem to fit nicely with you. Balances you out and all that." Her light comments didn't hide what lay right beneath the surface of what she'd said. _We didn't tell her that Goku isn't completely a youkai. And I wonder what happened to her. _The way Lei spoke of my so-called friends made it seem like she'd not had one. I had already stopped trying to correct her about what to call my traveling companions since she would have none of it.

No matter how happy she tried to sound, the heart wrenching sadness in her voice made me want to do something. I just didn't know what. Dealing with women was the pervert's job, and consoling people was Hakkai's. Goku made people laugh and smile at his antics. If she was just a little more like either of the three, it would have been easy. A couple lectures, a sarcastic comment or a hand on the head would have sufficed. But my mind was blank.

So I just sat there and puffed on a cigarette. "I can't be sure, but the worst of the storm should be over by dinner tomorrow." Lei stood with a jerk, not looking me in the eye. Her tone was as cold as the freezing rain outside.

If I hadn't known better, I could have sworn there were tears glistening her eyes when she made her way around the top of the steps.


	11. Hold Nothing

**Author's Note: Hey people, sorry for being a week overdue, but this chapter just didn't seem right. I changed my ideas a couple bazillion times before I got this one. Because of complaints of how all of my chapters seemed to have the same beat, I wanted this to be different. It may seem like a filler chapter to most; it may as well be. But it has its reasons. Remember to keep R&Ring. My wall of totally awesome people is growing steadily on my profile page. Updates on my progress are kept there as well.--xxAwesomeLucyxx**

The next morning, I didn't even bother to go downstairs. Rain always seemed to get worse before it got better and that was what the weather was like. God damned rain poured from the heavens as if the Merciful Goddess herself had decided to throw our world into the "Noah's Ark" sort of situation that Christians believe in. Other than that, there was nothing. No laughter or talking floated up the stairs to creep under my door. Just the pitter-patter of water splashing against the glass and the smell of Gojyo's disgusting cigarettes seeping into my nostrils.

The yawn I let escape from my lips was involuntary. I was exhausted from trying to read into what had happened the night before. For once, I was actually happy for the excuse to lounge around and do absolutely nothing. Lei didn't try to get me out of my room. However, when I left to use the bathroom, I almost tripped on a plate of sweet cakes and fruit she had obviously left for me.

That little act showed me that the youkai woman was angry but willing to forgive. I just had to make the first move. And I hated it. It had been years since I had to truly think about how to fix the stupid mistake of hurting someone's feelings. I have never given a damn about what Gojyo thought, but the look on Goku or Hakkai's faces sometimes made a hand clench around my heart. With them, though, all I had to do was ruffle some hair or offer to do the grocery shopping.

Lei was a completely different matter.

For one, she had never been easy to deal with. One minute she was a little girl crying over a dog she had seen village boys beating to death and the next a fiery youkai blazing with an unquenchable thirst for justice. The woman now was a walking enigma. Lei seemed to have some of the same habits like unconsciously tugging and twirling her hair or quietly singing (quite badly) when she thought she was alone. But I had noticed new things about her too, things that I'd rather Lei not have the need to do. She clicked her teeth together when asked a question she'd prefer to not answer and her yellows eyes darted around constantly, looking for something lurking behind every shadow.

The worst thing had to be the silence. From what I'd learned from my own limited experience and listening to Gojyo, most women would have jumped on the opportunity to tell their life story. The youkai definitely didn't fit in to the 'most women' category, but she still was a lot less talkative than I remembered her to be. And to be honest, I missed listening to her drone on and on about random things like she had done when we were younger. I'd realized long ago that she only did it because she too hated the soul consuming silence. It must have engulfed her every day while at home with her horrible family, and speaking to herself eased the dull roar that comes with being alone. When she didn't try to sing, Lei's voice could be one of the most soothing things in the world.

So the fact that she had yet to tell me what had happened to her during the time we were separated worried me more than if she would come crying to me. Tears could be dealt with one way or another. But there is no way to break the silence without doing it yourself. _It might be good for you to talk. You never say anything to us. Maybe it will be easier with someone that is from your past. The two of you should catch up. _Hakkai's voice floated into my mind. His unusually choppy sentences made sure that I understood everything. No confusion about the point he was trying to get across. The healer wanted me to open up about my past to Lei.

And I was too scared to do it.

_No,_ I thought, _too scarred. If she knew what I did to people, human and youkai alike, she'd probably never look at me the same way again._

"Hold nothing," I murmured to myself, pulling out a cigarette. No matter how much I tried, I couldn't let go of the guilt and the memories. And most of all, I couldn't let go of her. I'd finally started getting over my past, or at least ignoring it, when we showed up in town. Now that I knew Lei was still alive, I was permanently anchored to the earth.

My existence seemed to rest solely on the people in my life that I had grabbed on to so tightly. The three guys had accepted me for the cranky, hypocritical, murderous monk that I am because they too had their deadly flaws. Lei might not take so kindly to the new me. After all, the boy she knew, however stubborn and mean, was still just an innocent boy, unstained by blood and real hatred.

I let out a stream of smoke.

These past two days had changed something inside me and I couldn't deny it. It was strange to contemplate life as everyone thought I should being a Buddhist Sanzo. "Hold nothing." I repeated.


End file.
